I must say the phrasing of March winds bringing in April showers has come to life this last 2 days.... Yesterday was the furocious winds....Today snow,drizzle & coldness is upon us out West where we live. Ben & I had a task yesterday of anchoring down our tarp shed (10X20) thingamabob ... I had recently moved it & hadn't had a chance to anchor it.. No choice but to yesterday, unless we wanted the school yard to have a new jungle gym of sorts... Got my wrist pinched between the bungy & hook (that was fun) in the process.... Adrenaline was running very high for me to say the least... Thus, I believe causing a pinched nerve or pulled muscles... When I sat to eat my Orville micro-popper popcorn @ 3:40p.m... I felt & heard a "pop" along my neck.. Ever since I have had many of the classic symptoms of "anxiety attack"..Slept well last night, but have had a couple milder episodes throughout today....... Several things have been on my mind lately, plus yesterday's adrenaline rush and probably yanking on my body more than I thought I was has caused this feeling of "yuck"... Last night it also dawned on me that I had started using packets of Splenda in my hot cereals again this week (had given that up for about 4 months), plus it is also in the Irish Cream Syrup I used in my snacktime coffee.... I have had some other symptoms as well, but won't give you those details (thank me) This makes me feel sinful in having this anxiety wash over me to the point of feeling of not wanting to sleep for fear I'll die in my sleep, etc... Brings me to my first attack back 4 years ago when I was turned into CPS for a bruise on Meg's face... I had reported it to the school, but some new person didn't follow protocol to see if there were any reports of as to why she was bruised.... She turned me in for abuse and asked for an investigation in our home (never happened ~ I wouldn't let it).... On my record for 10 years, even though unfounded..... Have fought to get it removed to no avail.... The day I received the certified letter in the mail I was distraught... 2 a.m. one morning a couple weeks after, I awoke in sheer terror I was dying..... After a few thousand dollars worth of EKG, blood work, etc I was deemed to be fine... Valium was given by I.V. & offered to take some pills home, but I refused and took Flexeril (muscle relaxer) instead for a muscle strain from all the tension in my chest over tha time period til the attack... I didn't know I was walking around all clinched up..... I was though..... Very helpless feeling in the end.......Lord has control I know, just getting my subcontious to let that sink in is hard.... Could go for one of Dan Gookin's towel - n -neck pops.. Man, it has been so many years since I had one of those..... I will add here that the woman responsible for Paul & I meeting on 01-01-91 is Dan's wife and recently she found me on facebook.... We have all worked together in years past.
I have been a bit worried (not suppose to do that ~ It's part of the problem) that even though I've changed my lifestyle to a more healthy one that I have done myself some damage in the process of up/down for most of my life....... If an anxiety attack won't scare you into thinking about your health, then I don't think anything other than a heart attack could. I am on day #3 of the getting back on track.... Have til Easter at least to be 100% faithful to meeting my daily goals of exercise of some sort & back to reaching for that main goal..... I can do it! AND I WILL!
I shall sign off now and head out for a 2 mile walk...Praying for that too will settle my nerves or whatever it is that is going on.... Praying that God will show me where I am failing Him possibly and He may be giving me a wake up call of sorts for some reason..... He tell me that there is a reason for ALL things and I need to surrender my WHOLE being to His control.....
May the Lord bless you as I know He has blessed me, JERRI
2 comments:
I've been feeling a bit of anxiety myself the last few days...no particular reason that I can think of except maybe the problem with Bethany's chin. I keep thinking maybe it is something serious that the doctor doesn't know about. I also can't seem to get back on my diet, etc...so am quite sluggish. Gotta discipline myself, I suppose. I am proud of you! You at least get out there and walk! Don't be discouraged.
Don't know if this is close to what you're describing or not, but whenever the area of my back between my shoulder blades and around the neck area is tight or "out" I get panicky feelings at night, shortness of breath, heart palpitations, etc. The chiropractor pops it back and I'm good for another couple of months. He said its usually caused from lifting babies, diaperbags, stress, etc. It helps, too, to take deep breaths with your hands clasped behind your back, and also to rotate your shoulders in both directions for a minute.
Anyway, make sure you take your "Me" time today! Lov ya.
Post a Comment